Excuse me son, is your mommy or daddy home?

I've only been in Oklahoma City one day, one 24 hour period, and already things are different. Oklahoma City is a hotbed of conservative crazy. To give you an example the legislature recently passed a law that says doctors have a right to withhold information concerning a mother's unborn child in case the child has a birth defect and the doctors are afraid the mother will consider abortion. So imagine you are pregnant, imagine your baby has down syndrome, imagine your doctor knowing this months in advance and not telling you. That is Oklahoma. I'm going to love it here.

In Saint Louis I fit in rather well...and I like it that way. I usually look a little young for my age but people generally put me in the 20 something range (an occasional 18) and I'm almost always called a girl (old people don't count). On my first full day in Oklahoma City my mother signed me up to fold clothing at the local tornado relief shelter (my job doesn't start for another week). I drove out to a warehouse and organized clothing for just an hour or so, people were volunteering in short shifts. In the 60 minutes I folded clothing I filled two large boxes with XL and XXL clothing and half a small box with medium/small sized clothes. Wow...either really large people are the only ones that donate or Oklahoma City has an obesity problem. The latter is unfortunately true. That however is my public health side coming out and has nothing to do with the story. What I'm getting at is I stick out here. While folding clothes I started talking to one of the daughters of another volunteer. She was a fourth grader, rangy hair, and super social. Reminded me of who I wasn't as a kid. She proceeded to fill me in on everything Oklahoma, mainly football. She also ripped into me for not knowing much about the Oklahoma State Cowboys and Pistol Pete...apparently a much loved mascot in these parts. As I was finishing up and about to leave with my mother she called out to us "Maam, what's the name of your son?" Yes, this kid had a whole conversation with me and thought I was a boy. I'm trying to walk a fine line here. My goal is to look androgynous, to be the in-between. I don't want the labels that come with women and I sure as hell don't want the ones that come with men. But for some reason my Devon Sawa meets Ellen Degenerous style with a Dana Fairbanks mindset isn't getting me where I need it to go.



Case in point, after the volunteering I went to bootcamp with my mother at the local ymca. Apparently having good abs does not translate into anything this bootcamp does. My god wall sits! This is a satanic exercise. Who needs to pretend to sit in a chair for 4 minutes at a time, I sure don't. We also ran up a bridge with medicine balls, did pushups in the street, and attempted to do leg lifts with the ball between our ankles (this just propelled me into the air...not sure if it was the point). Then this morning the doorbell rang. I answered and was met with a young man probably only 3 years older than myself. He glanced at me and asked "is your mommy or daddy at home?" My mommy or daddy? I just stood there and waited for him to look up. He did, did a up/down and responded oh... He then said "well, do you own the house?" I responded "no, and my mommy and daddy aren't here...sorry." Then I shut the door. I'm putting out the wrong message here. In Oklahoma people notice me and I don't like it. I went to the local mall today to get my data transferred from my pc to my new mac (I may be savvy but I can't do that) and folks wouldn't leave me be. I have yet to see one gal that looks like me...I stand out.